First off, Jaron I am sorry if you don't want me sharing this but I need to get this off my chest.
Yesterday morning as I lay in bed dreading to get up and begin the day I started praying (for the first time in far too long). I thanked God for the wonderful Husband that he had blessed me with and asked for the inspiration to correct the wrongs I have committed in neglecting him this past while due to a far too busy schedule. When suddenly my phone started ringing... It was Jaron telling me that he had just been involved in a car accident.
Considering my Sister-in-law had just been in a near-fatal car accident (picture below) a few days prior I immediately thought of the worst. In attempts to not make matters worse with my blind fear I simply paused, took a deep breath and asked if he was ok. Turns out that he was in a minor fender-bender, no one was injured and that the car was still drivable. Thankful to hear this I quickly moved onto the next item of business when one is in an car accident, reporting it to the insurance. I told him that I was too busy at work today and that he would need to call them himself.
On my way out the door he happened to appear in the driveway, I took one look at him and my heart dropped. In that moment I realized that I had completely taken advantage of his being safe and home in one piece. So as he was stressing about the car's damage I told him to stop, took him inside and just asked to take a moment with me to calm down and be together.
As we discussed things, released stressful emotions and supported each other I realized that these are the moments that life is all about. When we can lean on and confide in those we love bettering both our lives. I am disappointed in myself for reacting to situations rather than responding to them with love and compassion, for complaining about things rather than focusing on the blessings and for wallowing in my own self pity rather than actively reaching out to those in need.
I don't want to be
remembered as the Wife that yelled at me when I got in an accident, the Woman that scolded me when I didn't do something her way, the Friend that wasn't there when I needed her, the Daughter that ignored my counsel or the Sister that didn't show up.
It is time to let my guard down, tear down the walls I have built up around myself in a silly attempt to protect myself or prevent disappointment and just be vulnerable. For those are the times that we learn the most, are most beneficial to/for others and grow in ways that we never thought possible.
To all those Family and Friends that have been here for me thank you and I apologize for being such a downer! I resolve to change my ways and become a better Person that will be there for you.
To my Husband, I am the luckiest Girl in the world because I have you!!!
